Dear DB

Dear Daddy Belly-

Dude…what’s up.

Listen…we have to talk. I’ve been thinking…we’ve been together a long time…and well, this is hard for me to write but here goes.

We’ve had some great times together…and you have been one of my closest friends. We’ve actually been through a lot…so many ups and downs. Me and the DB. You have been so good to me throughout the years.

You always got me that extra middle seat on the train, turning people away with your “don’t sit here look”…and, remember when we won those stuffed animals at the amusement park in the “guess my weight” booth. DB is more dense than they think!!! Where did I put those pink elephants?

You always hooked me up in a group dinner…getting people to consistently ask if I want the last…whatever. You rocked it.

And, what about making the all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant owners cry. “You no eat here anymore!! You pig!!” I remember you liked the spider rolls very much. They’ll miss us.

Yeah…DB…we had some good times.

But, like all friendships, if we don’t grow together…we eventually grow apart…and where I’m going…I don’t think you can come.

Yeah, yeah…I know I said this before and I know I took you back the last few times…but I was weak…and you were the fun one. So, who wouldn’t want you around?

But, I’m going to do bigger things this time…bro. things you wouldn’t be able to handle. So, you can hang around for a bit longer…but every day…you’ll see that I’m going to need you a little less…and one day…I’ll wake up…you just won’t be here anymore.

Don’t worry though…I’m sure you’ll find new friends. New guys who just had kids…and bought a house with a high mortgage. They will love having you around.

I’ll miss you, man.

Goodbye.