push

So, I'm watching my son at his first high school saturday Cross Country practice.  In a week of practice it is apparent that he and two other kids are within seconds of one another and each one could win a race on any given day.  So, he says, they are pushing each other to be better. 

Takes me back to my football days, when we would be doing double and triple sessions in the summer heat.  pushing our bodies to the point of exhaustion...and some even to the point of puking or passing out.  I remember a few kids having to go get IVs from dehydration.   I would come home dead tired, knowing that 10 hours later I'd be waking up to do it all over again.  There was no, "I'll get to it tomorrow".  There was no "I don't have time for this".  It was a given.  I was getting up to go get my ass kicked.  And, i never quesitioned it.  If the coach said monkey rolls...you did monkey rolls.  if the coach said run a lap...you ran a lap.  if the coach said knock someone down...you knocked someone down.  period.

So, when did I lose that want...that edge....that desire to feel like gave it my all and was better for it.

I still feel that way at work...and while winning the big account feels amazing in its own right....because a lot of work went into it....it's just not the same as pushing yourself till you want to pass out.

So, what changed?

Goals. 

20 years ago...the goal was to win.  not to be in shape so you don't look like the guy at dunkin donuts getting the 12 pack...and you know it's all for him.  the goal was to be as good as you could be so you didn't let your teammates down...not do enough so you fit into size 32 jeans.  20 years ago, you ate what you wanted to eat because it was fuel for the machine...not a way to satisfy a craving because someone said you had a nose hair hanging out and you feel bad about yourself.

So, if the goal is to win....what are we winning?  Dying later in life vs. earlier is not a goal.  Looking good is not good enough of a goal.  we need to get that feeling back...of being on a team...of having someone to push you to the point of exhaustion...

the goal can't have a finite ending...because if it does...we'll always go back to the old ways...and then the daddy belly will come back...again, and again.,

I lost 52 pounds in 14 weeks.  biggest loser competition with my tennis buddies.  came in second.  a year later it was all back because the competition was over.  no one to push me to continue to be better.  no one to tell me to stay in shape because next season we will win the champtionship if we stay focused.  so, i went back to the old ways...the old beliefs...and my off season led to complacency.

we have to believe that there is always a "next season".  goals need to be real and concrete...and once we reach them...we immediately have to set a new one.

So find someone to push you...or find a reason to push yourself...the way you did back in high school or college...when you were competitive with others....as well as yourself. 

and of course, when i say you....I mean me.

see you at the track.